Trip Report: Joe's Ride - Olney, MD

Bottom Line

Fun, inexpensive party ride. Not a race - all riders expected to start together. I'll add this to my list of annual rides - it's a great way to start the season - but there are some things I hope will change.

The Five Ws

• Joe Sanford died of brain cancer at 10 years old. 
• Rides (45K, 30K, 10K) and a stride (5K). The 45K and 30K were $25, the 10K ride and 5K walk were $10, and there was a free kids' bike rodeo.
• 2018 date was April 28 (reportedly earlier than in previous years). 
• Start and End at Oakdale Emory Church - 3425 Emory Church Rd, Olney, MD.
• The event is in memory of and benefits children in the Olney community who have died. Proceeds go to the Joseph Patrick Sanford Foundation.
• Here's a link. 

What to Expect

The longer rides (30K and 45K) started at 0700. Seemed like fewer than 50 riders, maybe 35 or so. The scene is a party scene - there was a DJ, a couple of vendor booths, and a light breakfast. Check-in was super-smooth. I gave my name and they handed me my swag (a t-shirt, a tote bag, and a water bottle among other things), though the organizers had encouraged riders to have registration info - a QR code - ready.

We all set out after a brief prayer. The majority of the route in the beginning was roads that had been closed for the ride. After the 30K riders split off, roads were mostly lightly trafficked. The route was very well marked with the kind of signs you stick in the ground.

There were a LOT of farms, some woods, and some residential areas on the route. One house early on the route had people on the porch cheering us on. It was rolling hills throughout, with beautiful scenery. The day was really foggy, but that added to the beauty. There was one support stop, where the 30K and 45K diverged. Most of the roads were a little chewed up and in need of a fresh coat of asphalt, but that's to be expected this early in the season and on a rural route.

I got to see a beautiful woodpecker, wings out-stretched, fly in front of me. He was big - I had never seen one that close. The colors were unreal, like God went a little overboard with the Instagram filters. I wish I had a picture to share. Warning, though, farms in spring smell like, well, about like you'd expect. If you can abide the occasional smell of a freshly-fertilized farm, maybe stick to the trails around DC?

After the ride (it took me about 2 hours do do the 28 mile/45K) it was a party scene. Line dancing, talking, eating. I kind of wanted to do the Wiggle and the Macarena, but that part wrapped up by the time I got my bike shoes off and my slides on.

It seems like this is really a community event. I saw a lot of riders riding back home after their ride, and there was a lot of surprise when I said I was from Odenton, about a 40-minute drive away. One person said, "Oh, I've heard of Odenton..." Sometimes, I felt a little out of place - not from there, don't have a kid with cancer, didn't suffer the loss of a child, don't know Joe Sanford. I wanted to ask, "Am I the only one here who's just here for the ride?" but it seemed a callous thing to say.

Some Drawbacks

From most significant to least significant:

No cue sheet. Organizers assured me that I wouldn't get lost, as the route was well marked (it was, mostly) and that others on the ride would help me find my way, if I got lost (so, a group of four of us all ended up lost together, but not badly. There was either a sign missing, or a confusing sign, or one we all missed near the end of the ride. We ended up biking along a busy highway for a short distance, and then turning left off of said busy highway. It was dangerous and scary, but we all made it).

There was SAG, but no one gave out the SAG number. "If you need SAG, just wait, the car will be driving around on the route."

Balloon release. I know - this isn't really ride related. I'd love to see the organizers ditch the balloon release. Cuz, you know, wrecking the environment in loving memory of those who aren't around to see it wrecked... not cool. Plant a tree or release butterflies or something. Grief is real, losing a child is tragic, but there are better ways to honor that memory.

Registration. Registration wasn't through Active.com, but through SignMeUp. The technical process - navigating SignMeUp and PayPal and such - was kind of a pain. The other option was a snail-mailed registration sheet and a check.

No Gatorade or EnerGels - okay, this isn't even really a draw-back; I just thought I should warn you. There were delicious bagels and coffee at the start, and, c'mon, 28 miles. Do you really need Gatorade or EnerGels for 28 miles? No. Just fill the two water bottles you have on your bike, you'll be fine.

Busch Gardens Williamsburg, VA - Review & Tips

We went to Busch Gardens theme park over Columbus Day weekend. Here's the review.

What if Some Members of My Party Don't Like Roller Coasters?

Don't worry - there's plenty to keep them busy, too! The lines for the roller coasters (especially the Griffon and Mach Tower) tend to be pretty long. They do a good job of keeping the line moving and there's good stuff to look at, so you don't really realize you've been waiting for an hour to get on the ride. While the scare-lovers are waiting in line, the non-scare-lovers can ride bumper cars or check out the live animal exhibits or play fairway games. Or point and laugh at their roller-coaster-riding companions as they scream their heads off.

Why Should I Go to Busch Gardens Instead of the State Fair?

Just kidding, you should do both. While Busch Gardens is much more expensive than the state fair, you won't find roller coasters like those at your state fair. You'll eat better at Busch Gardens (they have salads and vegetables, in addition to some more traditional fair foods), though you will pay more to do so. Also, Busch Gardens is really clean, and it's clear that the people who work there actually enjoy their jobs. That makes a huge difference. The people running the various boutiques took ownership and pride in their shops. One commented on the Hallo-Scream shenanigans, with a gentle complaint about the screaming 13-year-olds "running through my store." She wasn't having it.

Basic Logistics - What to Take, What to Leave

The stroller (obviously). 

If you have a kid in a stroller, you'll be fine, though the stroller can't go on the scary roller coasters.

A drawstring shoulder-bag. 

Bags are allowed, and it's really nice to have one place to stash your stuff. Put your cell phone and wallet in there, so you can leave it with someone or in a locker before a ride where it might go flying.

Food and Drinks? 

I don't think you're allowed to bring your own in. Food and drinks are pricey, especially the beer ($8.50 for a metal bottle of Bud Light). You will get hungry and thirsty, but if you plan ahead a bit, you can make good choices at the dining areas. Also, at the gift shops, if you buy a Busch Gardens water bottle for $8, you can refill it anywhere, all day long. I wish I had done that - I could have been drinking a lot more water!

Cigarettes? 

If you're a smoker, don't fear. There are smoking areas spread throughout the park. I mean, it's run by the same guys who make Budweiser. They won't keep you from having a smoke-break... But they also won't let you smoke right by the kiddie rides.

Pay for VIP Parking? 

I wouldn't. For starters, if you're worried about walking too much, Busch Gardens is not the place for you. You will do a lot of walking, all day long. What's a little further to your car? Secondly, when the VIP parking is full, they don't stop taking your money. So, you could end up paying for VIP parking, and still park in the next town over. If you end up parking far away, there'll be a tram to take you to your parking area, so it's not like you'd have to walk for miles. Speaking of your parking area, take a picture of the sign with your country and number with your cell phone, so you don't have to remember it all day.

Pay For a Quick Pass? 

The quick pass lets you hop to the front of the line for rides. There's a one-time option, and an all-day option. They're really expensive, even the one-time option. We didn't get them and I don't feel like we missed out. Besides, like I said, the lines are entertaining, and they keep moving.

The Rides! Oh, the Rides!

There's lots out there on the rides. Some of them are really pretty terrifying. I loved it, but that Mach Tower was a religious experience. Seriously, I'm not sure I've ever prayed so fervently in my life. I cried at the end. It's an eternity of free-fall from 240 feet high. The Cape Hatteras lighthouse, the tallest in the U.S. is only (only! Ha!) 193 feet tall.

Yup. We're in free-fall.

That's the relieved grin of someone with a new lease on life.

These are people too smart to go on the Mach Tower

 Photo Ops!

There are lots of cool places to take photos.

Very appropriate choices of placement

Busch Gardens Does Hallo-Scream in October

It's pretty normal during the day - some Halloween decorations, and I think the haunted houses were running, though that's not our shtick, so we didn't go. You can get some pretty amazing body art, too,

At night, it gets really dark. The lights are dimmed, there's fog everywhere, and people dress up in costumes and scare park-goers. There are warnings during the day that Hallo-Scream may not be appropriate for small children. No, really. I'd recommend this only for kids 10 and older, maybe a brave 8-year-old. It's really dark, with a lot of flashing lights, and a ton of noise (mostly in the form of dub-step). People jump out at you screaming and waving things. It's kind of overwhelming and disorienting, even for the grownups. It would be a pretty cool date for high-school or college students, though. They all seemed to really be enjoying it.

To the park's credit, some idiot was dragging their terrified first-grader through the park, and a guy with a fake chain-saw jumped out and scared the kid half to death. So, the chain-saw-guy stopped and showed the kid that it was just a toy - no blade - and that he was just a normal guy, and the family got a photo with the still-terrified kid, mom, and chain-saw-guy. Not sure if that was park-provided training, or just really good common sense on the part of chain-saw guy, but good for him.

Labor Day Weekend - Saturday Driving

So, as far as the trip goes, it was, by some definitions, a bust. We were going to go to a water park, but as we pulled into the parking-lot, some jack-leg tried to use my car to kill his child and then blame me for it, and it looked for a while like there'd be a fight. We were prepared to overcome this, but then when we got to the park itself, it was jam-packed. Like, crazy jam-packed, with twice as many people as inflatable tubes and twice as many people as lawn chairs and huge lines at the slides. 

So, we decided to find a beach, where you don't have to wait in line to get in the water. We checked out some North Beach at Chesapeake Beach, but it wasn't looking good - not much sand, no waves, lots of people, and a stupid net to keep you from going out too far, and it was right by a pier that people were fishing off of. 

So we decided to go back to Dewey beach, since we already knew we like that one. We got there in time for about an hour of beach time. Then we hit one of the outlet stores Thing 2 wanted to hit the last time we went, and then we hit some dinner at a Chinese buffet. So, like, 7 hours of driving for about 2 hours of fun, not including dinner... But we had some high hilarity, between threats tossed between the back seats and between the front seat and the back seat, of course. It's the journey, not the destination.

----

Thing2, singing: ...waddle-waddle-waddle...

Me: So a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand

T1, T2, and me: HEY! Bum-bum-bum Got any... grapes??

T2: bum-bum-bum bum-ba-ba-dum

DH, to passing car: HELP ME...

Me: No, see, it's like these three songs and they're all based on the duck-walks-into-a-bar joke... You know... haha... okay, so a duck walks into a bar, and says to the bartender... (hours go by) ... and then the duck gets the guy to ask the girl for the ducktape! AHAHAHHAHA 

T2: the girl was going to ducktape the duck!! hahahahahahah!

DH, looking at us like we've lost our minds: So... I guess you had to be there?

---

DH: Ah, yes. And now, from the state that brought you Tuckahoe state park, Assawoman Bay.

---

Me: Slips?? What is that?

DH: I think it's a place to put a boat in the water.

Me: Oh, I was thinking, like, "Slips and breaks leg"

Thing 1: I was thinking, like, "Slip that you wear under your dress."

Me, giggling: If we ever get a piece of property with a little creek on it, and the creek has anything remotely like rapids, I'll name it "Slips Falls"

Thing 2: Like, Slips Falls Broke Leg?

T1: Yeah! And we can call the creek Brokeleg Creek!

(For whatever reason, this totally cracked the three of us up)

DH, looking at us like we've lost our minds: Yeah, and if there's a hill, we'll name it, Brokeass Outlook
---
T1: Ow! Stop!
T2: Well, you stop! Hey! Ow!!!
Me: OMG if you two don't stop hitting each other right now, I'll hit you both!

Backseat: .... hehe Ouch! hehehe ... ... Ouch! hehehe
Me: ???

Yeah... they were smacking themselves and the other one was saying ouch. So, they weren't breaking the rule, exactly.

16+ hours of driving in fun bite-size segments! And a dream.

Davey, on a wrestling game:
At first I got the heck beat out of, and Daddy got the heck beat out of, but then I started winning and Uncle Daniel got the heck beat out of.

At Lunch:
Mom: Wow, girl, you're a bottomless pit!
Fi: What's a bottomless pit?
Daddy: People used to say I had a hollow leg.
Fi: A hollow head?
Daddy: Leg.
Fi: Head. Hehehehe

Later:
DJ: Mom?
Me: Mmmm?
DJ: Are you sleeping?
Me: ...*sigh*... No.
DJ: Then why are you lying there with your eyes closed?

The CNN moment:
Me: If you kids don't settle down blah blah LAST WARNING!, blah blah blah!
DJ: *insert mouthing off*
Daddy: *pulls to a stop light in downtown Panama City*
Me: *Slam down knitting, unbuckle seatbelt, dive into back seat, pull DJ out of his seat, swat swat, return to seat, straighten hair*
Guy in the Blazer beside us: OMG....
Daddy: This is not my family, this is not my car, that's not my license plate...

Return Trip:
DJ: I want to talk to Mom
Daddy: Mom's asleep. Be quiet and let her rest.
DJ: Well, she's staring at me!
Daddy: No, behind her sunglasses her eyes are closed; she's asleep.
DJ: Stop staring at me, Mom!! Aaaauuugh!!!

The dream at the hotel:
I was trying out to be a private chef for a lady who lived alone. She wanted me to audition Iron Chef-style. She said to make oatmeal. There's not a lot you can do to make that "gourmet." I stirred and stirred, tilting the pot, adding milk, until the consistency was perfect. Now, the flavor. Mint. And Honey. It was delicious. Refreshing and indulgent. Perfect. She loved it.

Roadkill Tour 2009:
Always a unique experience once across state lines.
1 Alligator
1 Opossum
1 Raccoon
1 Un-identifiable
1 Watermellon
2 Turtles
3 squirrels
5 armadillos
9 cantaloupe
Umptyzillion Tires