What do you say to someone who has just lost their child? Is the thing you say to that person different if the child were lost in a national tragedy? What do you tell an entire community? "I'm so sorry," or maybe, "my heart goes out to you," because those phrases haven't been used enough?
Do you tell them that you've written a letter about gun control to your congressman? Or that you vow to always use your gun to protect the innocent? Or that you made a donation in their honor to Mental Health America or to the Red Cross? Does any of that help?
Do you light a candle at church? Do you leave a teddy bear in the school-yard in remembrance of a child who will never get to play with it? Do you donate that teddy bear to a shelter for some child with absolutely no connection to the victims or their families?
Do you send a card telling [insert name] that you and the nation grieve with them? Or have your living child draw a pretty picture to take the place of the one their child didn't draw today? What are you supposed to tell the other children?
Is silence any better?
Update: The Snopes article on the Sandy Hook tragedy made a valid point about how receptive and prepared the school staff may (or may not) be to receiving piles of sympathy cards and letters. Rather than putting something in the mail, I believe I will be making a contribution to Mental Health America and/or the American Red Cross.
Silence isn't any better, but oh my God, I can't think of anything useful. I've prayed for the families and communities; I've prayed for the family of the young man who murdered; but even my prayers are broken and incomplete.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine anything helping.