The Mini-Kitteh - a Dream

I have to guess that I heard my co-worker talking about her new black kitten without knowing I had heard - she was talking about him near me, so it's entirely possible. And maybe it was because while trying to park yesterday, I drove past a very cute tan-and-white Mini Cooper. Or is it Cooper Mini? Goodness, it's small. How do you fit a whole family into that- OMG a spot opened up!

I dreamed I found a Mini-Kitten. It was a full six weeks old and healthy and fit neatly into the palm of one hand. So I took it home. That was okay, because it was a mini-kitten, not a full-sized cat, and besides, it was really cute. it was black all over and it had slightly-longer, thicker, white hairs here and there, like super-soft porcupine spines.

It wrecked the house. It went tearing across my living room, knocking over tray tables, and shoving the ottoman out of the way. It went tearing across the dining room, knocking over dinner chairs and spilling half-full glasses of water and pushing lunchboxes and purses and newspapers off the table. The other cats were terrified.

It grew to the size of my whole hand, and then to its adult size - about 2/3 the size of my ninja kitty, who weighs less that 4 lbs. A mini-cat.

My Car Is Not Broken

I grabbed my purse, my lunch, my cardigan, my keys and... No.

I couldn't leave for work. My car was broken. David would have to drive me (and he was eons from being ready!). It broke last night. In low gear, it quietly ground to an engineless stop, and in high gear it coughed and spluttered a lot, like not all the pistons were firing all the time. It did this yesterday, when I was driving in that hilly part by the kids' school... No.

I didn't drive by the kids' school last night.

I had made it to the stairs to tell the husband that he'd have to drive me in, that my car was broken, before I remembered: It was just a dream.

The thing it was telling me almost certainly has got nothing to do with my automobile.

My Commute :)

I actually really love driving. Even in rush hour. Even if there's traffic. Not so much if I'm running late, but even then, I don't usually get angry about it. But, there's just something about a commute that can't be captured with the windows up. Even if you sing your lungs out, it's just not as good with the windows up.

I walked to my car in the still, warm sunshine. My day was so done. I put it in reverse... And put it back in park.

I was digging through my purse. No dice... no luck... not finding- Ah! A pen. It'd do. I twisted it up, folded it over and wove the pen through. Opened the windows, two at a time. Turned the radio up, and off I went, homeward.

WIND WIND WIND... and fresh-cut grass... the PSS-PSSSSSS! of air from the brakes of that truck... a flowering bush?... The laugh of the woman on the radio... Mulch, and some other flower-smell... The smile of the guy passing me... The smell of something green and growing... and all the while, WIND WIND WIND.

Labor Day Weekend - Saturday Driving

So, as far as the trip goes, it was, by some definitions, a bust. We were going to go to a water park, but as we pulled into the parking-lot, some jack-leg tried to use my car to kill his child and then blame me for it, and it looked for a while like there'd be a fight. We were prepared to overcome this, but then when we got to the park itself, it was jam-packed. Like, crazy jam-packed, with twice as many people as inflatable tubes and twice as many people as lawn chairs and huge lines at the slides. 

So, we decided to find a beach, where you don't have to wait in line to get in the water. We checked out some North Beach at Chesapeake Beach, but it wasn't looking good - not much sand, no waves, lots of people, and a stupid net to keep you from going out too far, and it was right by a pier that people were fishing off of. 

So we decided to go back to Dewey beach, since we already knew we like that one. We got there in time for about an hour of beach time. Then we hit one of the outlet stores Thing 2 wanted to hit the last time we went, and then we hit some dinner at a Chinese buffet. So, like, 7 hours of driving for about 2 hours of fun, not including dinner... But we had some high hilarity, between threats tossed between the back seats and between the front seat and the back seat, of course. It's the journey, not the destination.

----

Thing2, singing: ...waddle-waddle-waddle...

Me: So a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand

T1, T2, and me: HEY! Bum-bum-bum Got any... grapes??

T2: bum-bum-bum bum-ba-ba-dum

DH, to passing car: HELP ME...

Me: No, see, it's like these three songs and they're all based on the duck-walks-into-a-bar joke... You know... haha... okay, so a duck walks into a bar, and says to the bartender... (hours go by) ... and then the duck gets the guy to ask the girl for the ducktape! AHAHAHHAHA 

T2: the girl was going to ducktape the duck!! hahahahahahah!

DH, looking at us like we've lost our minds: So... I guess you had to be there?

---

DH: Ah, yes. And now, from the state that brought you Tuckahoe state park, Assawoman Bay.

---

Me: Slips?? What is that?

DH: I think it's a place to put a boat in the water.

Me: Oh, I was thinking, like, "Slips and breaks leg"

Thing 1: I was thinking, like, "Slip that you wear under your dress."

Me, giggling: If we ever get a piece of property with a little creek on it, and the creek has anything remotely like rapids, I'll name it "Slips Falls"

Thing 2: Like, Slips Falls Broke Leg?

T1: Yeah! And we can call the creek Brokeleg Creek!

(For whatever reason, this totally cracked the three of us up)

DH, looking at us like we've lost our minds: Yeah, and if there's a hill, we'll name it, Brokeass Outlook
---
T1: Ow! Stop!
T2: Well, you stop! Hey! Ow!!!
Me: OMG if you two don't stop hitting each other right now, I'll hit you both!

Backseat: .... hehe Ouch! hehehe ... ... Ouch! hehehe
Me: ???

Yeah... they were smacking themselves and the other one was saying ouch. So, they weren't breaking the rule, exactly.

How to Love Your Luxury Beater

Ok, so, I've got this love/hate relationship with my car. It doesn't like to start; it makes funny smells (kind of like burning wood? It's probably wood-burning stoves. In several neighborhoods. And only when we take MY car. And only in the summer. Right.); it screams (bye-bye, rear axel. It was nice having you); and recently the panel that houses the switch for the moon roof fell off (it's tucked up above the passenger visor); and the AC seems to work only occasionally. But the leather seats are still smooth and comfy; the leather steering wheel makes my fingers sing; the heating in my seats still (mostly) works; the moon roof still responds to the switch; and I can still red-line the engine when I want to (though I've been trying not to lately).

So, since the interior of the car is black, and the AC is (to steal my SIL's line) a Unionized French beast (it works every other Tuesday and Thursday, except when those days are preceded or followed by a holiday, for approximately 15 minutes at a time, unless conditions are unhealthily warm), I've been loving the moon roof.

Since I haven't blown these speakers (yet), I get off work in the evening, hop in my car (just like Don Johnson, only, I open the door first), roll down the windows, open the roof and blast Georgia Public Radio (ok, or the local pop station). I arrive home sweaty, sticky, slightly more tan in all the wrong places, tired, wind-blown, and oddly refreshed. The loose ceiling covering even ripples and reminds me of seeing the ocean in my rear-view mirror. Does it get any better than this?

16+ hours of driving in fun bite-size segments! And a dream.

Davey, on a wrestling game:
At first I got the heck beat out of, and Daddy got the heck beat out of, but then I started winning and Uncle Daniel got the heck beat out of.

At Lunch:
Mom: Wow, girl, you're a bottomless pit!
Fi: What's a bottomless pit?
Daddy: People used to say I had a hollow leg.
Fi: A hollow head?
Daddy: Leg.
Fi: Head. Hehehehe

Later:
DJ: Mom?
Me: Mmmm?
DJ: Are you sleeping?
Me: ...*sigh*... No.
DJ: Then why are you lying there with your eyes closed?

The CNN moment:
Me: If you kids don't settle down blah blah LAST WARNING!, blah blah blah!
DJ: *insert mouthing off*
Daddy: *pulls to a stop light in downtown Panama City*
Me: *Slam down knitting, unbuckle seatbelt, dive into back seat, pull DJ out of his seat, swat swat, return to seat, straighten hair*
Guy in the Blazer beside us: OMG....
Daddy: This is not my family, this is not my car, that's not my license plate...

Return Trip:
DJ: I want to talk to Mom
Daddy: Mom's asleep. Be quiet and let her rest.
DJ: Well, she's staring at me!
Daddy: No, behind her sunglasses her eyes are closed; she's asleep.
DJ: Stop staring at me, Mom!! Aaaauuugh!!!

The dream at the hotel:
I was trying out to be a private chef for a lady who lived alone. She wanted me to audition Iron Chef-style. She said to make oatmeal. There's not a lot you can do to make that "gourmet." I stirred and stirred, tilting the pot, adding milk, until the consistency was perfect. Now, the flavor. Mint. And Honey. It was delicious. Refreshing and indulgent. Perfect. She loved it.

Roadkill Tour 2009:
Always a unique experience once across state lines.
1 Alligator
1 Opossum
1 Raccoon
1 Un-identifiable
1 Watermellon
2 Turtles
3 squirrels
5 armadillos
9 cantaloupe
Umptyzillion Tires

Better Knitting through Bavarische Motor Werks

Part I is for Irony.
So, on Tuesday I complained (loudly) that I've been far too well this season and that I really needed a sick day and my boss asked how my new car was and if I still loved it and mentioned that the dealership I had bought it from (owned by those jackals at Toyota of Augusta) had closed down. Wednesday, I woke up with a sore throat and my first thought was that there was no way any one would believe me if I called in sick... but the thought was still tempting. Today is Thursday. It was 26 degrees outside, according to my car. I started the car and drove the half a block to daughter's school to drop her off late (as usual). Then I pulled onto the street and up the hill. Slowly. Very, very slowly. So, I drove around the long way to my house, hoping that as the engine heated up, it'd move faster. Usually works for me, why not my car?

Things seemed to be moving in the right direction after a little bit, so I took the boy to school. I seemed to have a little more power, but it wasn't liking to shift until about 5,500 rpms and when I floored it, my sweet little 6-cylinder engine roared to a whopping 35 mph. Apparently, the fates agreed that it was time for a day off, so I called the office from the parking lot at the boy's school, and raced (ha!) to the GoodYear (lovely people there).

Part II - Enter Yarn
I sat and knitted for about 45 minutes and then they told me that they could change my oil, but that my transmission was sealed, so they couldn't even check that. I'd have to take it to a transmission shop. They recommended the one about a quarter mile closer to my house than they were. I went.

Part Ay yi yi - Diagnosis
I sat and knitted for another hour and a half while the Aamco people test-drove it and tested the computer and the battery and ran diagnostics. The transmission leaks. Not a lot, but some. It was two quarts low. They topped it off. And the rear end is shot. That's the whine I had been hearing and thought it was just my ears being too sensitive (after all, a car I've made all of three payments on should definitely NOT be making funny noises. So I hadn't been listening for any.). They said it needed to be replaced ASAP (appx $500+, emphasis on the plus). The reason I had no power was that my EML light is on, but burned out, so I couldn't see that it was on. Since the EML light is on, the computer is cutting the power to the engine down to about 30%. Maybe the computer's busted; maybe the sensor for the EML light is busted; maybe there's a blown fuse somewhere in there; or maybe my engine is hosed. They couldn't do more without the special BMW software. They recommended the privately owned shop about two miles down Wheeler Rd from Giuseppe's.

Part I.V. - A shot in the arm
The cool part is that we were supposed to get together for lunch at noon at Giuseppe's, which happened to be between me and the next repair shop on the list). I got done at Aamco at 1130 and made it at the same time as my coworkers. I had a ginormous calzone straight from heaven followed by Tiramisu to die for. It really is the best in town, so far.

Part V - Vaiting und vaiting
I got lost, got found (I am the person for whom GPS was invented), grabbed knitting and headed for the assistance desk at the privately owned shop on Wheeler. They only take appointments. I have one for Monday morning. I'll drop the car off Sunday night. *sigh* But my scarf is about 12" long now (9" longer than it was) and I'm really sure not to be late tomorrow... Because I'll be carpooling.